Things don't really change these days.

Or maybe not.

I still don't get it why can't I just forget the damn'ed past and live my life a new start. I mean, why it's so so so so so so dificult. It may seems like I'm so so melting with that 'drumstick' or 'drummerboy' or 'KG' or whatever nickname for him, but actually my heart still holds on to that one person. Or maybe two. But most of the time, I think it's just that one person.

For the past 3 years, I've fallen in love many times. It was nice in the beginning, but all failed in the end. What's the fuhking problem? I don't know.

Actually I don't even know what else to say. It's just that everything seems to get already kind of tattoo-ed deep in me. Okay what the hell.

I look at my friends, they look like they are having a good time eh! Especially CINOT! I'm envious of you all okayy!

And me? Trash!

Okay. Frankly speaking, that one person I'm referring to is Nur Shazyaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. (See my FB status.)

It's funny how we've never met, but I've soo fallen in love with him, that I can't get him outtaa my brains. I mean, Ehh hello? What's so special bout him that I can't even realise that we both have gone too far a distance without words for like so many months.

And sad, I can't figure that out.

And it's funny too, how I'm able to get over my ex-es so easily, but not him.

O___O

It'll be good if he remembers me too. But what if I'm all here along remembering him but he isn't? He don't even reply my offlline message at MSN. I don't even know if he's online. Now my laptop's spoilt and Mama's not repairing it. And I'm scared to just pickup the phone and dial him up. His number is at my fingertips. But I don't know why I'm still holding back and waiting.

I kept what he said to me thru my blog and MSN last time.

And if I were to read it, a box tissue won't ever be enough.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

K. HAIS.

BTW, I was having Plain White T's 'I Will Write You A Song' as my backfround music when I was updating this. HAHA.

Stupid.

Now, I don't know what I should do when I don't know what should I do.