I cant sleep yesterday night .
I was on the lappy, but not online,
I was listening to the music, and
CRYING .

I off-ed the lappy at about 1 plus, or what ?
I cant remember, then I went to sleep .
But couldn't just close my eyes and dream .
I kept crying ahhhhh, gaaaahhhh .

I just cant take it .


Every now and then, I would sit up cross-legged on my bed, and stared in the dark, thinking and thinking .
And I would lie back, hugging my pillow tight with belly-lie-ing on my bed .
And cry .

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, I feel so emo at that time .
And I just cant go to sleep .


I wonder if Feefee was the same too yesterday night,
if he was also having trouble sleeping,
if he was also crying on his bed .
Uhm, I dont know .

Blank mind .


It didnt matter if I could sleep or not, like as if I got the time to care so much about not having enough sleep for that night,
but all these things had made me think so so much that I couldnt sleep .

I couldnt stop thinking about the hurtful fact that Yan/Rafee/Feefeeeeeeeeeeeeee is going away, for like we-dont-know-how-long, till his aunt comes back from her outstation I guess .
I couldnt stop thinking what will happen next, what will happen of him,
I'm just so scared .
I'm scared of all those things up ahead, Im fearful of the up coming things in life .
I keep wondering how will he do down there, if he's gonna be okay all the time,
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHHHHHH, my pillow and bedsheet were all kinda wet from all those tears .
And the fact that I didnt managed to go online made matters worst, DUH .
I have only this much time left to spend, only these two days, saturday and sunday to talk, and now one day was gone, just like that, due to me going out with my family, and Mama wanted to walk around longer abit in AMKhub.
AHHHGRHHHHHHHH !!!!

I just cant take it, I mean who will right ?
It's hard for me,
but I realise so much that if it's hard for me,
it is much more harder and difficult for him .
I cant imagine how hard it is for him,
He is the one who is going through all that lost
and changing of places
and doesnt know what will happen next .

The feeling of lost, upset, all that emo feeling .


I'm sorry, I know I cant be there for you, it's impossible, I know, you know, we know it well enough . But promise me,



PS: Takecare of yourself, I know you're not really well,

Labels: OH MY GAWD